Driving In Maine
I'm not from Maine. I've never pretended to be from Maine and I never will. Mainers are amazing people and I'm grateful for knowing the ones that I do. Look up 'Salt Of The Earth' and some Mainer will be standing there in Carhartts and a hat that says, "Cow Shit Corner" (an actual place, super fun for kids and ripe like nobody's business in the summer AND on my commute home). I could scoop them all up, pour them on a plate and mop them up with a whoopie pie.
Mainers are the type of people that revel in silence, they can stand and think and ponder while my Jersey brain is screaming, "SAY SOMETHING! I KNOW WHAT TO SAY! I'LL SAY IT! FOR CHRISTS SAKE SOMEONE FRIGGIN TALK!!' (this causes them to wonder why my eyebrows twitch so much and blood drips out of the corner of my lips) But, if you wait long enough, they do talk and it's priceless. It's like being accepted into a group. They care, they really care. I think they just want more warm bodies for the winter. :)
They do not possess 'southern hospitality', they the possess 'earned hospitality' something that comes from getting to know someone and having a relationship that allows you to call them night or day and say, "I need help." and they answer, "Be right there." Whether it's plowing a driveway, getting me unstuck or a shoulder to cry on, put up the bat signal and a Mainer comes a calling.
I'd like to point out at this point that 'pop ins' are another Maine thing, you don't call, arrange or schedule, you pop in. It's glorious. If we're naked we lock the door - that's the thing to keep in mind. Naked = door locked.
So everyday on my 18 mile commute to work (which for 8 years straight consists of me dropping off a child at High School) I pass the same cars. I wave to everyone and you now what? They all wave back. I wave to the people walking, they do the wave while bowing your head down (obviously they know my pedigree ha!) Full wave, one finger (not that one), several fingers. (Remind me to discuss snowmobiling hand signals - wicked cool!!) But it's all a morning salute to each other - a time to make the donuts gesture. Sweet!
I remember one day while heading out on a sales call in The Donald's Tahoe (may she rest in peace or Augusta, whichever ) I heard this strange noise. I pulled off into a driveway and noticed that the muffler (bear with me here I'm not sure of all the parts) had come undone from the exhaust system and was draggin along making, what I'm sure was a display to rival the 4th of July. I didn't know what to do, so I stood there for a while. A truck went by and I kinda held my hand up to get his attention but he was going so fast, so I flipped him off after he passed. (how stupid Jersey girl, like My Cousin Vinny, only I'm not Marissa Tome and well I'm not Marissa Tome) He stopped. (shit!) Then I saw the white backup lights go on. (two shits and an oh my god!) I looked like John Belushi in Animal House trying to sneak around - very discreet. He swung in and said, "Needelp?" "Pardon me kind sir?" "I said, needelp?" "Oh do I need help, why yes please and thank you." I think I curtsied. He and I ripped the muffle/exhaust - the big scary pipe off the back and secure it so I could make it to my appointment. I asked him if I could pay him and he absolutely refused, I think he refuse, I couldn't understand Mainer completely at that time - I still struggle to this day.
I have one daughter driving and another with her permit (at 15 - how insane is that??) and I'm glad they are in Maine - they have pepper spray and they know to unload it, but I am confident in my fellow statesman here.
Mainers are the type of people that revel in silence, they can stand and think and ponder while my Jersey brain is screaming, "SAY SOMETHING! I KNOW WHAT TO SAY! I'LL SAY IT! FOR CHRISTS SAKE SOMEONE FRIGGIN TALK!!' (this causes them to wonder why my eyebrows twitch so much and blood drips out of the corner of my lips) But, if you wait long enough, they do talk and it's priceless. It's like being accepted into a group. They care, they really care. I think they just want more warm bodies for the winter. :)
They do not possess 'southern hospitality', they the possess 'earned hospitality' something that comes from getting to know someone and having a relationship that allows you to call them night or day and say, "I need help." and they answer, "Be right there." Whether it's plowing a driveway, getting me unstuck or a shoulder to cry on, put up the bat signal and a Mainer comes a calling.
I'd like to point out at this point that 'pop ins' are another Maine thing, you don't call, arrange or schedule, you pop in. It's glorious. If we're naked we lock the door - that's the thing to keep in mind. Naked = door locked.
So everyday on my 18 mile commute to work (which for 8 years straight consists of me dropping off a child at High School) I pass the same cars. I wave to everyone and you now what? They all wave back. I wave to the people walking, they do the wave while bowing your head down (obviously they know my pedigree ha!) Full wave, one finger (not that one), several fingers. (Remind me to discuss snowmobiling hand signals - wicked cool!!) But it's all a morning salute to each other - a time to make the donuts gesture. Sweet!
I remember one day while heading out on a sales call in The Donald's Tahoe (may she rest in peace or Augusta, whichever ) I heard this strange noise. I pulled off into a driveway and noticed that the muffler (bear with me here I'm not sure of all the parts) had come undone from the exhaust system and was draggin along making, what I'm sure was a display to rival the 4th of July. I didn't know what to do, so I stood there for a while. A truck went by and I kinda held my hand up to get his attention but he was going so fast, so I flipped him off after he passed. (how stupid Jersey girl, like My Cousin Vinny, only I'm not Marissa Tome and well I'm not Marissa Tome) He stopped. (shit!) Then I saw the white backup lights go on. (two shits and an oh my god!) I looked like John Belushi in Animal House trying to sneak around - very discreet. He swung in and said, "Needelp?" "Pardon me kind sir?" "I said, needelp?" "Oh do I need help, why yes please and thank you." I think I curtsied. He and I ripped the muffle/exhaust - the big scary pipe off the back and secure it so I could make it to my appointment. I asked him if I could pay him and he absolutely refused, I think he refuse, I couldn't understand Mainer completely at that time - I still struggle to this day.
I have one daughter driving and another with her permit (at 15 - how insane is that??) and I'm glad they are in Maine - they have pepper spray and they know to unload it, but I am confident in my fellow statesman here.
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