Plan B
This past Wednesday I was scheduled for the removal of my right ovary and it's three cysts along with a dusting a cleaning. In produce terms this is, one walnut, three grapes and an old fashioned cantaloupe scraping.
Wednesday morning, famished from not eating since 9pm the night before I was admitted to day surgery at 9:15am. My spirits were high because I knew we would be stopping at McDonald's on the way home for a Big Mac and fries, don't care how awful it may seem, I love them.
One by one the members of the dream team assembled each more giddy with excitement to see the next. The best of the best had been called to my bedside and we put on our game faces. I answered all of their questions, although I understand the concept, being asked, "Do you know what procedure we are supposed to be doing today?" led me to return, "God yes, do YOU?!?" The last conversation I remember having and yes, I was babbling to everyone and anyone, was with the anesthesiologist, "How much did you say you weighed?" "I didn't because you didn't ask." He had no idea who he was dealing with and then he knocked me out. Checkmate Chuck.
I awoke to Dr. Birkenstock at my side saying, "Things were more complicated than we first thought so I had to change gears and open you up." I squinted, "Am I closed now?" She smiled, "Yes, you're fine and I'll talk with you later. Now rest." I fell back asleep thinking, BIG MAC?!?!
Next time I woke, I was in my room, 306, not 304 Joanne from the kitchen, but 306. It was beautifully decorated in lavenders and lilacs a big private room, pretty curtains, lots of chairs and quiet - ah yes, the maternity ward.(not a lot of babies being born in Maine you know). Ashlee and Jesse were there too, they brought flowers and a TV crossword puzzle book and enjoyed my loopiness for a while. Again I nodded of thinking, Wait... I haven't eaten yet!
Don and Lauren arrived a little later and began to explain to me that the doctor found endometriosis - well let's just say I was riddled with it and was lucky to have had children at all, let alone two humdingers! I asked Don to call my boss and let her know we've hit a bump in the road. I was in and out and they left to take care of the dogs and get food themselves. I bid them farewell and told them I hadn't eaten.
Dr. B came in again and pulled up a chair and explained the procedure and that I'd be in the hospital until Friday or Saturday. She said she initially made a small incision with three other holes, then made a large smiley face in 'the hair line'. I asked, "Can I still rock a bikini?" She laughed, "Yes you can." I wondered if I'd look like a sprinkler if I drank too much water, but decided that wasn't something I really wanted to know.
Jennifer, night one nurse was an adorable young pregnant thing. She took great care of me and was nothing but pleasant. I have the utmost respect for nurses, a job I couldn't do, I thanked her every chance I had. Glenda joined the team at some point in the night, "Hey, you're Austin's grandmother right? Cue the 'It's a Small World' music!" It really is a small world here. They got me up and walking down the empty hallway for a lovely walk.
At shift change in the morning Jan came on duty. She has been at the hospital 30 years, goes to Ruwanda at least once a year for missionary work, bakes bread, raised two daughters and two sons, lost her husband six years ago, her mother this year and keeps tabs on her 91 year old father. We traded recipes and stories, which reminds me I need to get her the Ciabatta Bread recipe. I finally was cleared for food and at 11:30 - 40 hours later, I had a BLT. It was smashingly good! Bravo Joanne in the kitchen!
On Thursday Thurston and Lovey brought Lauren in, David, Jody, James and Jeremy who were up on vacation came in, then Ashlee and Jesse who is a friend and happens to be a boy came to visit. Flowers and balloons decorated the room and thanks to Dave and Jody and the boys, a cute pink Monkey named Douglas perched on my TV tray. They all left and Rich from work came in to make sure I wasn't being neglected. I asked how things were at work and he said, "Who gives a f*@k?" Ah, a fellow New Jersian! Rich headed out and soon my dinner arrived. Joanne and I had decided on a steakbomb, seemed like a good idea at the time - don't get me wrong it was yummy, but with a bloated tummy, maybe not the best choice.
Don and Lauren arrived and Sherri was now on duty for the evening. Don asked her if what Dr. B said was true, they made awesome milkshakes on the third floor. "Yes we do!" Awwww SNAP! Sadly I was too stuffed and uncomfortable. Yet at 9:30pm when Sherri was taking vitals I asked, "Do you really have ice cream up here?" She lit up, "Yes we do! I can get you ice cream or I can make you a milkshake! I'd love to!" Far be it for me to disappoint Sherri who seemed hell bent on making me a milkshake. I ordered chocolate. It was spectacular and sat atop the steak bomb like a cinder block. I looked at my round belly and nodded off to sleep thinking, "I hope it's a boy this time."
Bottom line, I'm sore. I'm out of work for 2 weeks. I'm being tended to nicely although right now a fight is raging about a horse.
Oh I can't not mention poor Tina, a friend and co-worker who dropped off slopey joe fixins Friday and Gabby tried to go through the screen window. This is new for Tina, but not Gabby. I thank you Tina for your thoughtfulness and yumminess!
Cheers!
Wednesday morning, famished from not eating since 9pm the night before I was admitted to day surgery at 9:15am. My spirits were high because I knew we would be stopping at McDonald's on the way home for a Big Mac and fries, don't care how awful it may seem, I love them.
One by one the members of the dream team assembled each more giddy with excitement to see the next. The best of the best had been called to my bedside and we put on our game faces. I answered all of their questions, although I understand the concept, being asked, "Do you know what procedure we are supposed to be doing today?" led me to return, "God yes, do YOU?!?" The last conversation I remember having and yes, I was babbling to everyone and anyone, was with the anesthesiologist, "How much did you say you weighed?" "I didn't because you didn't ask." He had no idea who he was dealing with and then he knocked me out. Checkmate Chuck.
I awoke to Dr. Birkenstock at my side saying, "Things were more complicated than we first thought so I had to change gears and open you up." I squinted, "Am I closed now?" She smiled, "Yes, you're fine and I'll talk with you later. Now rest." I fell back asleep thinking, BIG MAC?!?!
Next time I woke, I was in my room, 306, not 304 Joanne from the kitchen, but 306. It was beautifully decorated in lavenders and lilacs a big private room, pretty curtains, lots of chairs and quiet - ah yes, the maternity ward.(not a lot of babies being born in Maine you know). Ashlee and Jesse were there too, they brought flowers and a TV crossword puzzle book and enjoyed my loopiness for a while. Again I nodded of thinking, Wait... I haven't eaten yet!
Don and Lauren arrived a little later and began to explain to me that the doctor found endometriosis - well let's just say I was riddled with it and was lucky to have had children at all, let alone two humdingers! I asked Don to call my boss and let her know we've hit a bump in the road. I was in and out and they left to take care of the dogs and get food themselves. I bid them farewell and told them I hadn't eaten.
Dr. B came in again and pulled up a chair and explained the procedure and that I'd be in the hospital until Friday or Saturday. She said she initially made a small incision with three other holes, then made a large smiley face in 'the hair line'. I asked, "Can I still rock a bikini?" She laughed, "Yes you can." I wondered if I'd look like a sprinkler if I drank too much water, but decided that wasn't something I really wanted to know.
Jennifer, night one nurse was an adorable young pregnant thing. She took great care of me and was nothing but pleasant. I have the utmost respect for nurses, a job I couldn't do, I thanked her every chance I had. Glenda joined the team at some point in the night, "Hey, you're Austin's grandmother right? Cue the 'It's a Small World' music!" It really is a small world here. They got me up and walking down the empty hallway for a lovely walk.
At shift change in the morning Jan came on duty. She has been at the hospital 30 years, goes to Ruwanda at least once a year for missionary work, bakes bread, raised two daughters and two sons, lost her husband six years ago, her mother this year and keeps tabs on her 91 year old father. We traded recipes and stories, which reminds me I need to get her the Ciabatta Bread recipe. I finally was cleared for food and at 11:30 - 40 hours later, I had a BLT. It was smashingly good! Bravo Joanne in the kitchen!
On Thursday Thurston and Lovey brought Lauren in, David, Jody, James and Jeremy who were up on vacation came in, then Ashlee and Jesse who is a friend and happens to be a boy came to visit. Flowers and balloons decorated the room and thanks to Dave and Jody and the boys, a cute pink Monkey named Douglas perched on my TV tray. They all left and Rich from work came in to make sure I wasn't being neglected. I asked how things were at work and he said, "Who gives a f*@k?" Ah, a fellow New Jersian! Rich headed out and soon my dinner arrived. Joanne and I had decided on a steakbomb, seemed like a good idea at the time - don't get me wrong it was yummy, but with a bloated tummy, maybe not the best choice.
Don and Lauren arrived and Sherri was now on duty for the evening. Don asked her if what Dr. B said was true, they made awesome milkshakes on the third floor. "Yes we do!" Awwww SNAP! Sadly I was too stuffed and uncomfortable. Yet at 9:30pm when Sherri was taking vitals I asked, "Do you really have ice cream up here?" She lit up, "Yes we do! I can get you ice cream or I can make you a milkshake! I'd love to!" Far be it for me to disappoint Sherri who seemed hell bent on making me a milkshake. I ordered chocolate. It was spectacular and sat atop the steak bomb like a cinder block. I looked at my round belly and nodded off to sleep thinking, "I hope it's a boy this time."
Bottom line, I'm sore. I'm out of work for 2 weeks. I'm being tended to nicely although right now a fight is raging about a horse.
Oh I can't not mention poor Tina, a friend and co-worker who dropped off slopey joe fixins Friday and Gabby tried to go through the screen window. This is new for Tina, but not Gabby. I thank you Tina for your thoughtfulness and yumminess!
Cheers!
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