Parental Untruths
As parents we can opt to indulge in the lore of Santa, the Easter Bunny (never did quite figure out that concept, although you notice I don't doubt Santa - cause I don't want to get on his bad side, I can live without jelly beans and peeps, thank you.) the Tooth Fairy and Pirates.
Sorry? You're not familiar with the Pirates Lore? Allow me to explain.... it must have been 1998, I know it was Valentine's Day because I had made adorable heart shaped cakes and Don was grilling filet mignon that's how we roll on Valentine's Day, sometimes we just fall asleep drooling on the sofa in our pjs. It's not a perfect system.
Ashlee was seven and Lauren was 2 1/2 (perfect age for this) they slept in the same room in bunk beds - this is important. We were all gathered in the kitchen preparing a lovely loving meal and Ashlee asked about what we did before we worked for Mobil. I said, "We don't like to talk about it really." pause.... let it build. She asked again, "Really Mom, what did you and Dad do." And then it came out, "*sigh* that was back when we were pirates, when Dad only had one eye and a hook." At that point, you have to stop and let it sink in. "Honey, aren't you glad you got you eye fixed?"
"WHAT??" I think Lauren dropped a sippy cup. "Oh it was great fun, we were good pirates, but what a ruckus we caused !Dad won me in a card game from another group of pirates, he was very good at cards, still is." The Donald, bless his heart uttered a.. "Arrrrr! Remember my parrot - what a great companion." We went on to tell stories, letting each other build on our days at sea to two little girls who were doubtful, but listening on the edge of their seats jaws on the floor.
We explained that we were retired and our pirate days were long over. Ashlee looked at us both and said, "No way! You weren't pirates!!!" The Donald and I laughed and we said, "No, we were just having fun with you girls, we weren't pirates at all." And then I looked at both the girls and winked. I watched them both swallow. Don't try this if there is any threat of nightmares.
ps. One evening the tooth fairy, after working all day and attending culinary school at night, forgot to stash money and explained that the cat scared the tooth fairy away and was almost eaten and would not return unless we promised to contain said cat for the evening.
Sorry? You're not familiar with the Pirates Lore? Allow me to explain.... it must have been 1998, I know it was Valentine's Day because I had made adorable heart shaped cakes and Don was grilling filet mignon that's how we roll on Valentine's Day, sometimes we just fall asleep drooling on the sofa in our pjs. It's not a perfect system.
Ashlee was seven and Lauren was 2 1/2 (perfect age for this) they slept in the same room in bunk beds - this is important. We were all gathered in the kitchen preparing a lovely loving meal and Ashlee asked about what we did before we worked for Mobil. I said, "We don't like to talk about it really." pause.... let it build. She asked again, "Really Mom, what did you and Dad do." And then it came out, "*sigh* that was back when we were pirates, when Dad only had one eye and a hook." At that point, you have to stop and let it sink in. "Honey, aren't you glad you got you eye fixed?"
"WHAT??" I think Lauren dropped a sippy cup. "Oh it was great fun, we were good pirates, but what a ruckus we caused !Dad won me in a card game from another group of pirates, he was very good at cards, still is." The Donald, bless his heart uttered a.. "Arrrrr! Remember my parrot - what a great companion." We went on to tell stories, letting each other build on our days at sea to two little girls who were doubtful, but listening on the edge of their seats jaws on the floor.
We explained that we were retired and our pirate days were long over. Ashlee looked at us both and said, "No way! You weren't pirates!!!" The Donald and I laughed and we said, "No, we were just having fun with you girls, we weren't pirates at all." And then I looked at both the girls and winked. I watched them both swallow. Don't try this if there is any threat of nightmares.
ps. One evening the tooth fairy, after working all day and attending culinary school at night, forgot to stash money and explained that the cat scared the tooth fairy away and was almost eaten and would not return unless we promised to contain said cat for the evening.
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