The Window of Opportunity Almost Shut On My Freakin' Head
Friday night Lindsey and Ryan were married and I made desserts for 40 people. On Saturday at 2pm they had a reception about 2 miles from here (foodapalooza central) and I was asked to make the food for 150 people. Several gals made a dish each to help out and ovens were offered to me whenever I needed them but otherwise, I was it.
Here's the thing. I had everything timed and knew when I had to make everything but the snag happened when I realized I had chicken to reheat, meatballs to heat, 16 strombolis to make and bake all in one oven. This is when I started laughing like Chief Inspector Dreyfus from the Pink Panther and texted the mother of the bride frantically. Once I got 2 strombolis on each sheet pan and realized I could do 6 at a time, things started to fall into place. Then I realized the shrimp weren't peeled. F*#%! Lauren peeled 6 pounds and I called in a favor to The Robbins, "Can you peel shrimp!!" They were here and gone with 9 pounds of shrimp to peel. Love them dearly.
I keep my kitchen clean, no dishes in the sink, the fridge is clean, the stove clean and the counters clear. People were coming to retrieve the food at 1pm and at 11:00 it looked like either a bomb went off or a class full of preschoolers had been let loose. I was dressed in boxers, a gray t-shirt, my cheaters atop my head and flour covering my face. The floor littered with bits of who the hell knows what.
I had labeled all the platters and was filling them and crossing dishes off the refrigerator chalkboard. Thank God Lauren and Don helped. It seems that no matter what I have to get done in a situation like this, it comes down to the last minute.
At 1:15 I ran into the shower (I brought a glass of wine, I picked a bad week to quit crack) cranked the music and showered. People were picking up trays while I was trying not to shred my legs with a razor and singing raunchy Eminem lyrics at the top of my lungs - you vent how you vent and don't judge me. I jumped out, applied my face, and then started drying my hair. At 1:40 I was running around, grabbing shoes, trying to hide a bra beneath a very low cut dress - I was going to dance and precautions where necessary, gathering last dishes and peeling off towards the tent.
Lauren was with me and when we arrived the crew that would restock was waiting for me. Donna, Marge Simpson and Shakira. Donna's name is really Donna, Marge was actually Debbie and Shakira's name was Rose, but I was in no mood for 'learning'. "Michele, where does this go." I whipped out my handy dandy table map and for the first time in my life, instead of saying, "I'll do it." I started barking, "Furthest food table on the left!" "Nearest food table on the right!"
The food was a success and I beamed anytime anyone asked me anything about what was in the food or who made it. I really enjoyed it. If I can figure out how to transition into this career, I'd love to do it all the time. It is exhausting, hard, frantic and I absolutely loved it! I was 30 minutes off, lesson learned. The Donald asked me what lessons I learned and I said, "That I'm perfect?" and I laughed and laughed then drank heavily.
Lindsey and Ryan, I wish you happiness forever.
ps. I danced my ass off, but it grew back. :)
Here's the thing. I had everything timed and knew when I had to make everything but the snag happened when I realized I had chicken to reheat, meatballs to heat, 16 strombolis to make and bake all in one oven. This is when I started laughing like Chief Inspector Dreyfus from the Pink Panther and texted the mother of the bride frantically. Once I got 2 strombolis on each sheet pan and realized I could do 6 at a time, things started to fall into place. Then I realized the shrimp weren't peeled. F*#%! Lauren peeled 6 pounds and I called in a favor to The Robbins, "Can you peel shrimp!!" They were here and gone with 9 pounds of shrimp to peel. Love them dearly.
I keep my kitchen clean, no dishes in the sink, the fridge is clean, the stove clean and the counters clear. People were coming to retrieve the food at 1pm and at 11:00 it looked like either a bomb went off or a class full of preschoolers had been let loose. I was dressed in boxers, a gray t-shirt, my cheaters atop my head and flour covering my face. The floor littered with bits of who the hell knows what.
I had labeled all the platters and was filling them and crossing dishes off the refrigerator chalkboard. Thank God Lauren and Don helped. It seems that no matter what I have to get done in a situation like this, it comes down to the last minute.
At 1:15 I ran into the shower (I brought a glass of wine, I picked a bad week to quit crack) cranked the music and showered. People were picking up trays while I was trying not to shred my legs with a razor and singing raunchy Eminem lyrics at the top of my lungs - you vent how you vent and don't judge me. I jumped out, applied my face, and then started drying my hair. At 1:40 I was running around, grabbing shoes, trying to hide a bra beneath a very low cut dress - I was going to dance and precautions where necessary, gathering last dishes and peeling off towards the tent.
Lauren was with me and when we arrived the crew that would restock was waiting for me. Donna, Marge Simpson and Shakira. Donna's name is really Donna, Marge was actually Debbie and Shakira's name was Rose, but I was in no mood for 'learning'. "Michele, where does this go." I whipped out my handy dandy table map and for the first time in my life, instead of saying, "I'll do it." I started barking, "Furthest food table on the left!" "Nearest food table on the right!"
The food was a success and I beamed anytime anyone asked me anything about what was in the food or who made it. I really enjoyed it. If I can figure out how to transition into this career, I'd love to do it all the time. It is exhausting, hard, frantic and I absolutely loved it! I was 30 minutes off, lesson learned. The Donald asked me what lessons I learned and I said, "That I'm perfect?" and I laughed and laughed then drank heavily.
Lindsey and Ryan, I wish you happiness forever.
ps. I danced my ass off, but it grew back. :)
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