Work Rules
For the love of God and all that is Holy, please everyone consider the work rules:
Shower - daily, with soap and shampoo and get everywhere, I mean everywhere. If you've got rolls, dig deep. I'm sorry, but seriously dig deep, get in there!
Deodorant - is not optional, use it, apply liberally and if you have a problem, throughout the day - keep it in your desk/drawer/bra. I don't care, just use it.
Flush, check, flush again if necessary. No one should be forcibly peeing hard to power wash the toilet. People using the code word 'streaky bacon', 'chunky peanut butter' and 'frijoles' just makes everyone else gag. Check the toilet before you vacate after vacating.
Men - do not piss about the toilet. If your aim is off, or per chance you can't see to aim because of the laws of physics and Burger King, then sit.
Personal space - we all have a bubble, usually it is 3 - 4 feet - do not enter this space. While it may be perfectly fine where 'your people' come from, it doesn't bode well for the rest of humanity, at least not in this country. Step off.
Do NOT walk up behind people and read their monitors, that shit is just rude. I will stand up and slap you outright.
Fish is prohibited in the microwave, no one wants to eat a banana nut tilapia muffin, no one.
Do not hum 'The Girl From Iponema' or 'Midnght at the Oasis' or 'The Bunny Hop'
If you find a mistake, be cool about it.
The bus you push someone in front of will be back for you, trust me.
To paraphrase Pulp Fiction: listen, do not wait to talk.
Do NOT argue with customers under any circumstance, even if you win, you lose.
Smile when you answer the phone.
Remember we spend a LOT of time together.
Get along, okay? Or you're all fired. As you were.
Shower - daily, with soap and shampoo and get everywhere, I mean everywhere. If you've got rolls, dig deep. I'm sorry, but seriously dig deep, get in there!
Deodorant - is not optional, use it, apply liberally and if you have a problem, throughout the day - keep it in your desk/drawer/bra. I don't care, just use it.
Flush, check, flush again if necessary. No one should be forcibly peeing hard to power wash the toilet. People using the code word 'streaky bacon', 'chunky peanut butter' and 'frijoles' just makes everyone else gag. Check the toilet before you vacate after vacating.
Men - do not piss about the toilet. If your aim is off, or per chance you can't see to aim because of the laws of physics and Burger King, then sit.
Personal space - we all have a bubble, usually it is 3 - 4 feet - do not enter this space. While it may be perfectly fine where 'your people' come from, it doesn't bode well for the rest of humanity, at least not in this country. Step off.
Do NOT walk up behind people and read their monitors, that shit is just rude. I will stand up and slap you outright.
Fish is prohibited in the microwave, no one wants to eat a banana nut tilapia muffin, no one.
Do not hum 'The Girl From Iponema' or 'Midnght at the Oasis' or 'The Bunny Hop'
If you find a mistake, be cool about it.
The bus you push someone in front of will be back for you, trust me.
To paraphrase Pulp Fiction: listen, do not wait to talk.
Do NOT argue with customers under any circumstance, even if you win, you lose.
Smile when you answer the phone.
Remember we spend a LOT of time together.
Get along, okay? Or you're all fired. As you were.
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