Sans Clothing

Back in the late 90s when I first started at Mobil, the cast of characters were eccentric. I'll bring this around to present day, I promise. One individual in the Network Department had a house on Sandy Hook. Sandy Hook is a nude beach and he was obviously gay. I was invited out with a group to the nude beach and my curiosity got the best of me, but not without me dragging along my best friend Beth. Beth and I stayed suited because I had no desire to expose myself to my co-workers but did they show the same restraint? Nope. I didn't want to see them naked and yet there they were, in all their glory. This may come across cruel, but I think naked beaches are for people who can't get anyone to request them to remove their clothing in the first place. It's a train wreck. I saw hernias and tits that hung past the Tropic of Capricorn.

While vacationing in Jamaica Ashlee asked for binoculars to look at the Germans. We realized that German meant naked. Which makes sense.

Present day - we're headed to the shore soon. I don't have a tan. I have one bathing suite and I'm not sure what else I'll wear and I want an even base. See where I'm going? I was out on the master bedroom deck in my 'all together' today. I spent about an hour and a half and I can feel the sun coming out of me now. I read a little, checked my phone, I was practicing Jersey Shore. Now it appears I may have slightly torched my ass, what's new?