Cecil Cletus Cyst III Update
When last we left our super heroine, she had made a follow up appointment to determine a course of action for Cecil Cyst.... we resume our regularly scheduled program.....
On Sunday we attended a lovely BBQ at the Lake House with Thursten and Lovey. Upon entering, Lovey walked up to me, grabbed my face with both hands and said, "I would like to go to your follow up appointment with you." Now, smush your checks together and say, "What for?" That's what I sounded like. She insisted and I agreed. It was nice of her to be supportive. Very nice. She said we should have lunch first, I'm all for food, so hot-diggity!
Today was appointment day so Lovey and I met for lunch, discussed the family, the weather, the lad sitting on the dock with his feet in the water. At one point I mentioned he might not actually have feet - I'm an idiot. Caleeb our waiter bid us adieu and off we went to the Women's Center, fasten your seat belts.
Upon arriving at the Women's Center I had to fill out some paperwork - the usual. I did this and proclaimed I had a living will. I think I do, but I'm not really sure, I do know that under no circumstances should anyone 'unplug' me, leave me plugged in, okay?
I weighed - happy with those results, and then scampered on into the exam room. The nurse asked a lot of questions, all of which were surrounding my family history of horrid diseases, all of which I answered, "That was Mom." She said, "Oh your poor Mom, she has had a lot." To which I said, "You have no idea. She passed in February." Awkward turtle sign.
I was instructed to disrobe, okey dokey, I wasn't sure if we were doing this or not, but in for a penny, in for a pound. I sat stripped from the waist down and beneath a hospital swaddling cloth. I was happy to see the blinds were closed to the walking path out back - previously this has proven shocking for me and other folks.
The doctor came in, introduced herself, checked her pager, then spent the majority of her time removing spaces in the radiologist's report - this seemed very important to her. I wondered if Dr. FlaxseedOil ever wore makeup or heals or a bra for that matter. I didn't care if it was judgemental, the ungodly amount of time removing spaces in the radiology report removed all filters from my pea brain.
When she finished editing the report she turned to me and said, "Now, this is not uncommon your ovaries make cysts every month. We just need to make sure this one goes away." About this time I thought, sheesh, I'm going to miss the little dude!. She then went on to say, "Don't hate your ovaries." I'm sorry, say what?? Now this had never really entered my mind so I cocked my head, ala golden retriever and she said, "Some women come in..." then she feigned lower abdomen pain, "and claim they have a cyst." Here's where she lost my respect and gained my gritted teeth. "It usually has absolutely nothing to do with a cyst!" Great Jane Goodall, my freakin side hurt, I'm pretty sure Handy Andy with the magic wand proved there was something there, but thanks for planting the seed of doubt and making me feel like an idiot - like I needed more of that in my life!
She recommended that it be check in 5 weeks, Handy Andy and I have a date, with the magic wand again, stay tuned for our engagement announcement. Then she said again, "Don't be mad at your ovaries." Is there a trend of this? Are women pounding their guts chanting, "I hate you! I've always hated you!!"
Dr. Tofu proceeded to tell me I have 10 good years left on my Uterus, or 100,000 miles, whichever comes first, bumper to bumper of course.
In one last ditch effort I said, "Great, but you do realize, my mother grew tumors like tomatoes?" To which Dr. AntiShaving said, "Sure, but in your Mother's day they did hysterectomies left and right." I'm not a doctor, yet, but having a mother that grew 'grapefruit' sized tumors as a hobby, seems like something to be wary of - again, I'm no expert but being in the day of routine hysterectomies and someone sprouting growths are two different topics.
I'll go in five weeks and see what's up. I am confident things will be back to normal in the factory and the Keebler Elves will be making cookies, however, if I feel anything out of the ordinary, I'm screaming. And thank you Lovey, I really did appreciate you being there - I'll follow up with a Thank You card because you don't know about my blog, yet, Christ hopefully never!!
On Sunday we attended a lovely BBQ at the Lake House with Thursten and Lovey. Upon entering, Lovey walked up to me, grabbed my face with both hands and said, "I would like to go to your follow up appointment with you." Now, smush your checks together and say, "What for?" That's what I sounded like. She insisted and I agreed. It was nice of her to be supportive. Very nice. She said we should have lunch first, I'm all for food, so hot-diggity!
Today was appointment day so Lovey and I met for lunch, discussed the family, the weather, the lad sitting on the dock with his feet in the water. At one point I mentioned he might not actually have feet - I'm an idiot. Caleeb our waiter bid us adieu and off we went to the Women's Center, fasten your seat belts.
Upon arriving at the Women's Center I had to fill out some paperwork - the usual. I did this and proclaimed I had a living will. I think I do, but I'm not really sure, I do know that under no circumstances should anyone 'unplug' me, leave me plugged in, okay?
I weighed - happy with those results, and then scampered on into the exam room. The nurse asked a lot of questions, all of which were surrounding my family history of horrid diseases, all of which I answered, "That was Mom." She said, "Oh your poor Mom, she has had a lot." To which I said, "You have no idea. She passed in February." Awkward turtle sign.
I was instructed to disrobe, okey dokey, I wasn't sure if we were doing this or not, but in for a penny, in for a pound. I sat stripped from the waist down and beneath a hospital swaddling cloth. I was happy to see the blinds were closed to the walking path out back - previously this has proven shocking for me and other folks.
The doctor came in, introduced herself, checked her pager, then spent the majority of her time removing spaces in the radiologist's report - this seemed very important to her. I wondered if Dr. FlaxseedOil ever wore makeup or heals or a bra for that matter. I didn't care if it was judgemental, the ungodly amount of time removing spaces in the radiology report removed all filters from my pea brain.
When she finished editing the report she turned to me and said, "Now, this is not uncommon your ovaries make cysts every month. We just need to make sure this one goes away." About this time I thought, sheesh, I'm going to miss the little dude!. She then went on to say, "Don't hate your ovaries." I'm sorry, say what?? Now this had never really entered my mind so I cocked my head, ala golden retriever and she said, "Some women come in..." then she feigned lower abdomen pain, "and claim they have a cyst." Here's where she lost my respect and gained my gritted teeth. "It usually has absolutely nothing to do with a cyst!" Great Jane Goodall, my freakin side hurt, I'm pretty sure Handy Andy with the magic wand proved there was something there, but thanks for planting the seed of doubt and making me feel like an idiot - like I needed more of that in my life!
She recommended that it be check in 5 weeks, Handy Andy and I have a date, with the magic wand again, stay tuned for our engagement announcement. Then she said again, "Don't be mad at your ovaries." Is there a trend of this? Are women pounding their guts chanting, "I hate you! I've always hated you!!"
Dr. Tofu proceeded to tell me I have 10 good years left on my Uterus, or 100,000 miles, whichever comes first, bumper to bumper of course.
In one last ditch effort I said, "Great, but you do realize, my mother grew tumors like tomatoes?" To which Dr. AntiShaving said, "Sure, but in your Mother's day they did hysterectomies left and right." I'm not a doctor, yet, but having a mother that grew 'grapefruit' sized tumors as a hobby, seems like something to be wary of - again, I'm no expert but being in the day of routine hysterectomies and someone sprouting growths are two different topics.
I'll go in five weeks and see what's up. I am confident things will be back to normal in the factory and the Keebler Elves will be making cookies, however, if I feel anything out of the ordinary, I'm screaming. And thank you Lovey, I really did appreciate you being there - I'll follow up with a Thank You card because you don't know about my blog, yet, Christ hopefully never!!
Comments
Post a Comment