Others jobs I couldn't do... and yet those I'd rock!
I couldn't be a farmer. If a truck came and took my cows for slaughter I would sit on the davenport crying, like Nathan Lane in the Birdcage, leafing through baby pictures and pleading, "Where did the time go?!"
I could not work in the Unemployment Office. I would literally climb over a desk to shake someone and tell them they could do that job, 'now get your ass out there and DO IT!!'
Hygienist - oh dear god. I can hardly floss my teeth, let alone someone else's.
Flagger, oh come on.
I could be a commentator on any reality show. For example, I watched the X Factor for the first time last night, here are my talking points:
1. Simon Cowell sitting on that sofa in his jeans, unbuttoned cotton blouse (yes, it's a blouse, I have the same one) and barefoot in sunglasses IS the backdrop for a porn movie. Nice going you twit.
2. The chick with Enrique, the lyrics to every song sung are NOT about you.
3. Enrique, stop futzing with your eyebrows.
4. Rhianna, not every guy wants you. Some are gay.
5. Wedding DJ with the wife and son, you are gay, but awesome voice.
6. I love the 13 year old girl. She becomes possessed when she sings, in a good way.
7. No girl band or anyone really should attempt Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, it's sacred. Leave it. that really goes for anyone.
See?
And yet, I sit beneath my thorny crown and manage. Today was National Boss's Day. This is what 'they' do. 'They' call me up in my office and say, "Michele, I need you down here as soon as possible." I answer, "Okay." Hang up and then do my frantic run from my office down the stairs, in 4 seconds, I float down, barely touching the stairs. I card myself into the inner sanctum and am greeted with snacks, flowers, a card complete with Wine Outlet Gift card, oh these people know me. The card was signed, "The Island of Misfit Toys." that's us, I'm am with them. At the end of a long day, we're a team and my God we are kicking ass in this economy, yeah we rule!
I could not work in the Unemployment Office. I would literally climb over a desk to shake someone and tell them they could do that job, 'now get your ass out there and DO IT!!'
Hygienist - oh dear god. I can hardly floss my teeth, let alone someone else's.
Flagger, oh come on.
I could be a commentator on any reality show. For example, I watched the X Factor for the first time last night, here are my talking points:
1. Simon Cowell sitting on that sofa in his jeans, unbuttoned cotton blouse (yes, it's a blouse, I have the same one) and barefoot in sunglasses IS the backdrop for a porn movie. Nice going you twit.
2. The chick with Enrique, the lyrics to every song sung are NOT about you.
3. Enrique, stop futzing with your eyebrows.
4. Rhianna, not every guy wants you. Some are gay.
5. Wedding DJ with the wife and son, you are gay, but awesome voice.
6. I love the 13 year old girl. She becomes possessed when she sings, in a good way.
7. No girl band or anyone really should attempt Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, it's sacred. Leave it. that really goes for anyone.
See?
And yet, I sit beneath my thorny crown and manage. Today was National Boss's Day. This is what 'they' do. 'They' call me up in my office and say, "Michele, I need you down here as soon as possible." I answer, "Okay." Hang up and then do my frantic run from my office down the stairs, in 4 seconds, I float down, barely touching the stairs. I card myself into the inner sanctum and am greeted with snacks, flowers, a card complete with Wine Outlet Gift card, oh these people know me. The card was signed, "The Island of Misfit Toys." that's us, I'm am with them. At the end of a long day, we're a team and my God we are kicking ass in this economy, yeah we rule!
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