There are a couple of things to keep in mind when doing home improvement projects, either inside or outside.
1. The worst comment you can hear is, "That's going to need another coat." If you say that to me, your next move should be to run, run really fast.
2. A weekend project always seems like a good idea but will beat the living shit out of you leaving you a jellied pile of goo for work on Monday. Plan accordingly.
3. Breakfast is critical along with hydration. When you get dirt in your mouth, and you will, just think of it as a teeth whitener. Not too much dirt though, that's just nasty.
4. Your excitement drops exponentially by the hour, starting with the first brush stroke, shovel full or nail.
5. Gloves are blister resistant, not blister proof. If you don't want blisters, don't participate.
6. If a gas powered piece of horticulture engineering ingenuity is involved, it will run out of gas at the furthest possible point from the gas can. Yelling FUCK! does not affect this equation.
7. Calling a sod cutter a son of a bitch won't make it start or prevent stalling.
8. Backing up a tractor with a trailer is an art - not everyone is an artist.
9. Sometimes your job is to sit on the fender to gain traction, don't take offense, be thankful you keep those extra couple pounds handy for emergencies.
10. Lift with your legs and know your limits
11. You won't realize how hard your feet are working until you finally sit down and then they will throb like they were beaten in a Turkish prision.
12. The moment when you finish take the time to look at what you've accomplished, don't look around or you'll find more shit to do the next weekend.
13. Don't give up. Make the time to finish now or soon. Half done projects are easily abandoned for more projects that will not be completed either. There are no project fairies or elves that come at night and finish for you.
14. Hosts on HGTV have 'crews' and the homeowners are actors or andriods or assholes.
15. Have a meal ready for afterwards, better yet order takeout. But don't eat out, no one wants to see you fall asleep in your plate.
16. Weekend warriors rock!
17. Oww.
1. The worst comment you can hear is, "That's going to need another coat." If you say that to me, your next move should be to run, run really fast.
2. A weekend project always seems like a good idea but will beat the living shit out of you leaving you a jellied pile of goo for work on Monday. Plan accordingly.
3. Breakfast is critical along with hydration. When you get dirt in your mouth, and you will, just think of it as a teeth whitener. Not too much dirt though, that's just nasty.
4. Your excitement drops exponentially by the hour, starting with the first brush stroke, shovel full or nail.
5. Gloves are blister resistant, not blister proof. If you don't want blisters, don't participate.
6. If a gas powered piece of horticulture engineering ingenuity is involved, it will run out of gas at the furthest possible point from the gas can. Yelling FUCK! does not affect this equation.
7. Calling a sod cutter a son of a bitch won't make it start or prevent stalling.
8. Backing up a tractor with a trailer is an art - not everyone is an artist.
9. Sometimes your job is to sit on the fender to gain traction, don't take offense, be thankful you keep those extra couple pounds handy for emergencies.
10. Lift with your legs and know your limits
11. You won't realize how hard your feet are working until you finally sit down and then they will throb like they were beaten in a Turkish prision.
12. The moment when you finish take the time to look at what you've accomplished, don't look around or you'll find more shit to do the next weekend.
13. Don't give up. Make the time to finish now or soon. Half done projects are easily abandoned for more projects that will not be completed either. There are no project fairies or elves that come at night and finish for you.
14. Hosts on HGTV have 'crews' and the homeowners are actors or andriods or assholes.
15. Have a meal ready for afterwards, better yet order takeout. But don't eat out, no one wants to see you fall asleep in your plate.
16. Weekend warriors rock!
17. Oww.
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